Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
