....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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