when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
