On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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