This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
