While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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