Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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