Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize