He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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