Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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