P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
