remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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