I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
