like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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