you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize