I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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