btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
