i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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