I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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