Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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