I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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