i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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