Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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