Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize