As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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