I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
