do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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