Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
