No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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