I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
