so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
