Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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