i would punch a child for taco bell
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
