So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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