they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost