Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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