I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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