cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
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Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
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You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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