try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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