Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
