she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
