i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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