you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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