Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I AM VODKA MAN
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
