Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize