They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
