:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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