Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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