Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
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Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"