so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
