There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize