I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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