Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
