i'm lost and i look like a hooker
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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