i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
