Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
